In A Pinch
by spheeris1
Summary: Piper POV :: drabble :: set post-'Tall Men With Feelings' :: "Because she is hurting Larry now because she hurt Alex back then, because this is karma and karma is a stern teacher, because this is the truth and Piper is truth's favorite bitch."


_"It's weird how normal this feels…"_

Piper stares up at the ceiling and listens to the various sounds of nighttime; the way her roommate snores in stops and starts, that one woman who sometimes mutters incomprehensible words in her sleep, and the underlying hum of electricity - cheap wires buried behind concrete and tall fences, light bulbs still hot from burning all the live long day.

It's not crickets dancing in the summer grass but it'll do in a pinch.

And a pinch is what Piper is in these days.

_"I feel like I am 23 and no time has passed…"_

The most immediate problem is the way in which Piper's skin tingles - a nice little sensory recollection at the back of her neck - from the soft branding of Alex's lips. And even now it causes a friendly, familiar rush of heat to flutter to life within her bones.

Oh she'd love to turn over and find Alex Vause in her uncomfortable prison bed; she'd love to breathe the other woman in and replace the stale, sticky scent of hundreds of other women with what is uniquely Alex. She'd love to tremble with abandon and thread her fingers through that long, black hair and roll her hips into every touch, every thrust.

Piper just manages to stop herself - fingers already skimming a little too closely to the hem of her underwear, already prepared to turn fantasy into reality - and the frustrated, guilty sigh she releases is loud enough to make Taystee grumble while slumbering.

_"Why do you always feel so inevitable to me?"_

And with the guilt comes thoughts about Larry.

Larry and his boyish face crumbling, Larry and his heart being broken, Larry and the life he represented - secure and solid and sure. Larry and his sweet kisses and his silly, stupid grin. Larry and his ring on a beach, before those 15 months truly had to begin.

And Piper tries to tell herself that yes, this is just being human - human beings needs contact, Piper needs contact - but Alex is usually right about such things and so this isn't just killing time with an old acquaintance, is it?

This is an affair.

This is an affair with the woman who dropped Piper in the shit.

This is an affair with a drug-dealer and with an ex-girlfriend, an affair with way too much baggage attached and with way too many lies being told.

And nothing puts a stop to arousal quite like honesty.

_"I heart you, too…"_

But of course, that is the bigger issue, isn't it?

And Piper shoves her face into her pillow and thinks about suffocating herself; permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Still, Yoga Jones's voice hovers around her ears like a phantom and Piper heaves another sigh and forces her eyes to close. And she runs through a litany of experiences behind her eyelids - all in an effort to escape, to pretend for just a moment or two that her whole world isn't imploding.

And it is Larry's hand gently covering hers as they drive through a steady rain. And it is the busy streets of Paris below as Alex curls around her like smoke. And it is family vacations that didn't suck and it is laughing with Polly at 2 a.m. and it is that first wonderful bite of a Murray's bagel.

_"Do you love her?"__  
__"No, its… its difficult…"_

It is the scent of saltwater and it is endless clouds just outside an airplane window; it is Larry handing her a coffee - just the way she likes it, with too much sugar and a grin - and it is Alex dancing with her all night long, arms around Piper's waist like they were born to be there.

And Piper didn't ask for any of this; she didn't ask to love two different people - like fucking night and day - and she didn't want to cheat on Larry and she didn't mean to lie to anyone and she didn't want to rip anyone's heart out.

Not Larry's.  
Not Alex's either.

But of course, that is the bigger issue, isn't it?

_"…Do you love her?"_

Because she is hurting Larry now because she hurt Alex back then, because this is karma and karma is a stern teacher, because this is the truth and Piper is truth's favorite bitch.

_"…Yes…"_

Because Alex Vause has left a mark on Piper and it still fucking aches, because every kiss, every touch, every damn word between them comes with the wicked sting of regret and the tempting pull of destiny.

Because they are inevitable - stupidly, ridiculously inevitable…

…and it's far from perfect but it'll do in a pinch.

And a pinch is what Piper has been in for a long, long time.

(end)


End file.
